What Is Happening?!
Well, technically Kara is pregnant and I’m responsible. It’s probably not the biggest secret in the world, but we’re going to be welcoming a new addition into our family. Our first addition. . . save for that little Yorkshire Terrier that
runs barks around. We’re going to be a FAMILY. That seems so weird to me and I certainly haven’t gotten my mind around the concept. Kara is five months along, which I know makes this quite the late announcement/update. February 19th is D-Day and it’s, ummm, quickly approaching!
There’s a little girl growing in there. Her parts told me so.
I don’t know that we were ever told “You’re having a girl!” Instead, the news was given to us a little more abstractly. I was told to watch as the tech traced out lines on the screen, saying “Labia, labia clitoris,” and then “Congratulations!” Yeah—that happened. I’ve got nothing against girls, but I really didn’t think God was going to give me a girl with our first child. I was convinced that I wouldn’t be able to handle that, as protective as I am. I mean, convinced! I can’t explain to you how intensely my heart was beating as we waited to find out if it was a boy or girl. When I had the abstract parts explained to me, I’ll be honest that there was a sense of disappointment . . . and fear. I had already had plans of taking my little guy to sporting events and having a partner to teach and play golf with. You know, manly stuff. But it’s cool now. I’m looking forward to doing my best to be a godly father figure in her life—a task that promises to be a most challenging and rewarding endeavor. The tea parties and princess dances will just take a little getting used to. I suppose not all girls are into tea parties and ballroom dancing. And I guess if I’m honest, Kara is way more manly than me anyway.
Riding in the elevator after the appointment, I was overcome with visions of walking my daughter down the aisle and paying for a wedding. Since that time, I’ve tried to slow down and enjoy the 25 years before that happens. But seriously, am I going to have to dance with her at her wedding to Steven Curtis Chapman’s Cinderella? I’m finished if so.
I’m assuming that I have no idea the magnitude of what’s about to take place in our lives. I can’t even begin to count the number of people that have told us that we can kiss sleep as we know it goodbye. And that the days of freedom are gone. It never failed in those conversations though, that each of them also said “And it’s totally worth it.” Those things scare the crap out of me and teenage girls terrify me even more. But all that said, I understand how incredibly blessed we are, and I’m feeling more and more blessed each day. Is it unmanly to say that I’m actually starting to get excited? That I already feel love toward something I’ve never even seen?
I’m already bracing for how life will be different, but I know and have been told that there’s really no way to fully prepare for what’s in store. Our plan is just to roll with it and learn as we go. Is there anything else we can do? I think I’ll just concentrate on the delivery and go from there. I haven’t decided if I’ll be sobbing uncontrollably or just simply on the floor passed out when that day comes. I’m going to put my money on the latter, which is far more manly, in my opinion.
I’ve become quite virtuous in my sympathy.
It’s a fascinating experience to watch Kara’s body, emotions and energy fluctuate. I’d say the same thing for myself and my body, emotions and energy. Guess I’m pretty sympathetic and therefore automatically a stellar husband. We’ve pounded our share of ice cream and frozen yogurt lately. At least we both feel awful about it after we do. Well, at least I do. 🙂
The nursery we’re working on is going to be pretty tight. We’ve spent the last month putting some things together, and that silly princess is already expensive! Or maybe it’s my wife. Or maybe it’s me and the ashamedly strong vested interest I have in designing the perfect modern, baby girl nursery. Oh dear, I’ve got problems, I know. Why so interested in home decor?! Especially feminine decor? I’m going to explain that as sympathy as well.
I guess you could say the change in life is already well underway, so we’re just hanging on from here. Hanging on is not something I do well, as I like to have a plan and get ahead of situations as much as possible. I suppose this is just one more way that God is working to take my focus off of my own self interests, a battle that I have to fight constantly.
Here is the visible proof of what’s happening.